Reframing

This is not a new technique by any means but is worth returning to. How we say things and what we focus on make a big difference to how we feel. How we feel can influence our confidence, relations with others and success.

Imagine you have just walked into a room. Someone is sitting there very angry. You can feel it and it isn't pleasant. Imagine that person is happy and smiling - welcoming you in. Feels very different.

How you feel has a big effect on your health as well, producing different hormonal responses in your body. We have this in our language. If we are grieving our heart is broken. If we are full of anger and rage we say we are full of bile. There are many expressions that show the physical effects of our emotions.

There are many ways to change how we feel like exercise, doing fun things, contact with friends. We can also change our thoughts to a great extent.

Try the following and see what it does for you:

Say you are learning something new and getting it wrong. You could say to yourself: I'll never be any good at this. How do you feel saying this to yourself? Not good.

Now change your statement to: Hey, I'm just learning. I'll soon have it mastered. Feels much better doesn't it?

Some tips on reframing are to change it to the positive, separate the activity from you as a person (you are not hopeless even if you make a mistake) & make sure there is possibility and optimism (take out words like never or always and put in a positive future or make the situation temporary on the way to something better).

Give it a go. If you notice a negative thought, write it down, reframe it and say this new thought, then compare how you felt before and after.